Where I'm Suppose To Be, With You
by Stratagirl
Summary: Thoughts and feelings come across in this emotional ride of pain and love. Actions take place and feelings expressed. Enjoy!


_**"Where I'm Suppose To Be, With You." **_

**Decendents of Darkness**

**So this story is for ladyasile as it is her birthday..Happy Birthday ladyasile! *hugs tightly!* :). I hope that you have a great birthday and I threw in something that I think you'll like ;). I hope that everyone will enjoy this, I had a lot of fun writing it and well the beginning were acually thoughts I had myself the one night staying up late and just thinking...what thinking brings out for writing, hu? :). Enjoy ladyasile and everyone! ^_^. **

**Note: I know that I spelled Tsuzuki's name wrong so just bare with me til I find a day to fix the spelling in most of my fics, thank you kindly everyone :).**

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><p><em>Hisoka's POV...<em>

You stop and think, what if things were different? would I be the same person? where would I be? Sometimes life can be so cruel and u hat it, you want to rebel no matter how chldish i would have been. Then you stop and reailze instead of wasting your energy on rebeling against life why not fight it? do wnat you want, encourage others to do what they love and encourage them to tell those they love that they love them...because in the end...at some point we all die. Death is just a part of life but at the same time there is a thing of dieing too soon. And that is when life is cruel, taking a life before it's time has even really begun to live. But then the big question that a lot of people have is, what is after death, where do you go, what do you do?

I don't know what other's might do in their afterlife but I know that right now I'm working with a man that i can't admit my feelings to. His name, Tsuzaki, his occupation...Shigiami and...sweets lover.

My name...Hisoka , age 16, well thats what I was when I died or should I say when I was killed. My killer, a mad man that kills those he finds fasenating, that he cares for, that he loves? I'm not sure why he did and does what he does but...he needs to be stopped. Tsusaki...he's late again for our meeting, we're suppose to steak out some suspious activity but as usual he can't make a appoint if his very life depended on it...well his very after life that is. Just thinking about the man gots me thinking...if Tsusaki would have been born in my life time would things really be different? Would we have been able to stop Miraki? All these thoughts and more ramage through my brain so many times that I literally get a headache...ohe here is comes, damn! This is why I like working a lot, leaves me less time to think about things that have nothing to do with the present. I wonder if that crazy, sweets loving man knows how much he is really loved?

"You ready Hisoka?"

Damn! I was busying thinking, again, as ususal, well as of late anyways. Must focus. "Yeah, lets go." I get up and we leave.

The steak out is mostly boring, nothing really we can get the two guys and one woman on, not unless groping is now a crime which I highly doubt it is. I sigh and Tsusaki looks at me. He gives me that look someone gives their special someone, their loved one. He look at him and then look away with a light blush on my cheeks. I can tell I'm blushing because my cheeks are getting warmer. I clear my throat. "I don't see how they are accused of illegal activity." i say.

"Yeah, it seems that way. But we should stay a bit longer...just in case." he says as he keeps on looking at the three.

I can't but wonder why is seems our roles have been switched. Ususally I'm the patient one and this idoit is the one wanting to get a mission done so he can go and snack his brains out on sweets. So...why is it I want this mission to be done so quickly? I don't want time to think I don't want time to...

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><p><em>Tsusaki POV...<em>

Before I realize what is happening I'm tackling Hisoka to the ground but I was too late. The bullet had already came in contact with his forehead. We both land with a hard thump and people stare at us. I don't notice this because I'm too worried about my partner to really care. "Hisoka!" I shake him.

He groans and sits up placing a hand on the side of his head. "What was that?" he asked in a strained manner.

"Someone shot you. But...yous hould be okay." I say and realize that tackling him was needed, he was after all a Shigami, like myself.

"So why then, did you tackle me to the ground." he asks me as he climbs to his feet and brushes himself off.

I shrug. "I don't know really." I say as i scratch my cheek embarrsed.

"Well lets see if we can find out where the shot came from. Oviously someone doesn't want us aroudn those three." he motions with his thumb to the three that were getting up from their cafe' table and leaving.

We didn't find much of track of the shooter but we did find out that the two guys were lovers and the woman was the one's sister. Odd how people spend their time. But then who am I to judge, people should spend their time and life with whom ever they want...oh! we've been found out. Time for a good excuse. I think as the two men approach us. Don't think they will be too happy, considering they just saw us watching them making out...

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><p><em>Hisoka's POV...<em>

Perfect what has us watching these two guys making out, they can't be doing anything else important today, tonight after this...well they could but it's something that I would want to watch and I don't think Tsusaki either. Crap! They saw us watching...which why were we watching in the first place? This mission is soo odd. I want it done with already! Wait no I don't! I shake my head as I try to get rid of those ridictulous thoughs.

The man approaches us and looks down at me. "What do you want kid? Hmm...want some fun, we could give it to you easly." he smirks at him.

For some odd reason Tsusaki gets angry and grabs the mans hands as he looks like he is going to touch my cheek.

"I don't think so. Who were you three waiting for back there?" He indicates with a tilt of his head.

The man blinks and shakes he his head. "Dude I don't know what you are talking about. We were just getting to gether with my sister." and they two walk away.

I blink...Tusaski is acting weird, he is acting angry and...it downs on me...is he? No, why would he? Great another headach, it's a killer this time. I hold my head and go to lean up against the brick wall that is behind us. Of course Tsusaki follows me.

"Are you alright Hisoka?" he asks me as he gives me this sad and worried look. His eyes, their so memorizing. Why? Why did he have to be so unloved in his life? But now is differe because he's not and never will be...I start to black out and fall forward. I hear crashes and ows before I lose total unsciousness.

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><p><em>Tsusaki's POV...<em>

_(__the docotors name, the orange haired guy from the spirit world who works with Tsusaki...what's his name? _. = Watari ) _

I see Hisoka start to fall forward and I yell out to him. "Hisoka!" and just as he lands in my arms I trip over something and we both fall to the ground and upon falling to the ground we fall somewhat into what looks like metal trash cans. They fall to the ground causing loud sounds and ruckus. I push the cans to the side out of my way and I hold Hisoka's passed out form to my chest. I look down at him, I'm worried. He's never really passed out like this before...what if...no, I won't think like that. Just as I notice some people dial their cell phones I get to my feet, Hisoka still in my arms, run into a emty alley and teleport us back to the Spirit World.

When we got back I headed straight to the infirmy. Just as I burst through the door Watari and Tasumi star blinking at me and then blink at the unscious form of Hisoka.

"Tsuaki what happened?" Tasumi asked as he approached me. I looked at him with lidded sad eyes and I shake my head. "I don't know. One minute he is leaned against a brick wall holding his head and the next he is falling forward."

Watari walks over to me and Hisoka. He looks down at the blond. "Put him over there." and points to a bed. I do as I am told and laid him down gently. I look over at Watari and ask as I don't take my gaze away from Hisoka. "Will...will he be alright Watari?"

"We won't know until I do somet tests." Wataris says as he hooks up all these wires and what not to the blond. He then comes to stand in front of me. I look up at him. He smiles a little, not much but enough to tell he was smiling. "You should go rest, you look tired and drained. I'll send Tasumi when I'm donw with the tests, okay?"

I nod and get up to go take a nap. Though I doubt I'll be able to sleep at all. Tasumi stops me before I exist out of the room. "Tsusaki...take care of yourself, if you don't how will you take care of Hisoka." he smiles at me with a bright and hopeful smile and pats me on the head. Tasumi is such a great friend. I nod to him and leave to rest in the loudge. Just as I lay my head on the surprisingly soft and fluffy pillow my eyes start to get heavy but I don't want to sleep...Hisoka might need...might need me...I can't...can't fall...a...a...sleep. I thought as my eyes closed all the way and I drifted off to dream land it was more like nightmare land. All I can say is that the nightmare was filled with Muraki and his evil actions and everything horrible about that man. It felt so real that when someone touched me in the conscious world I snatched my arm away and bolted upright. My eyes were wide and twitching. I blinked to get rid of the horrible images. "Tasumi?"

"Looks like you had a bad dream there my friend." he said with a sad face as he knelt down beside the futon.

I nodded and combed my hand through my hair. "Yeah...how is Hisoka, will he be alright?" I ask as I look at my friend with wide hopeful eyes.

"From what Watari told me the boy just has mental stress, something on his mind that apparently his refuses to tell anyone. Watari asked what it was but the kid refuses to tell him or me. Watari says if he doesn't tell anyone it could be bad." Tasumi stands and smiles down at me. "But if you talk to him I'm sure that it'll help, a lot." and he walked away. I swing my legs over and sat my shoes flat on the floor. "I have to see him." I stand up and start for the infirmy room. "Maybe Tasumi is right, maybe I can help him."

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><p>Hisoka's POV...<p>

I can't tell Watari, Tasumi and definitely not Tsusaki...how...how am I suppose to get better...or as Watari explains it, relieve myself ot this..mental stress? I can't unless I tell Tsusaki how I feel...how do I feel? I just know that random thoughs of the idoit enter my mind without warning and i find myself smiling happily about the man. Gah! What am I suppose to do? I grab my head and hold it as I started to get another pounding headache.

"What am I suppsoe to do?" I say aloud as as tears build up no matter my protest against them.

I hear someone enter and I look up in time for my eyes to meet bright purple ones. "Tsu-Tsusaki?" I whisper out. The tears now streaming down my face.

"Hisoka." he says my name like I'm a piece of china and I'll break any minute. He starts to walk towards me but the closer he gets the more I want to tell him..._Tsusaki..I love you, I love you!_ My mind cries out as he stops by my bedside and I look away towards the window and my tears that are still falling get caught by the breeze that comes through the window and they splash up on Tsusaki's cheeks. "Hisoka...you have got to talk to someone. Tasumi said that if you don't..."

"I know what will happen if I don't! I..." I stop and pause then continue with a shudder in my voice. "I can't...its just...it's hard." I look up suddenly when I feel a hand over mine. I look down at his hand and then slowly up at his eyes. I look away just as fast. "Go..." I whisper.

"Hisoka..." he starts but I don't let him finish.

"I said go!" and grip the sheets and squeez my eyes shut so that I can't see the hurt in those tender and fragile eyes of his.

I don't hear him and look to see his back disappear as he turns down the hallway. The sobs I had been holding in and want to let out come out, tired of being trapped in my throat and needing to break free they do so and I gasp and sob as I just know I have hurt the one person who understand me the best and who has always been there...because before now I have always thought I was there for him, that I needed him, but the truth of the matter is that he needs me.

I look up as I hear someone else come in. I don't know how but I just know it isn't Tsusaki. "Ta-" before I can finish his name he rushes to my bedside and leans down to me with a angry-determind look on his face. "I don't know what you have your mind that has you so stressful and I feel for you, I really do but when someone like Tsusaki tries to help you and understand what you are going through you don't just tell him to get out." he stands up straight and takes a deep breath. "I don't pretend to know how it felt to die the way ou did and to know how your life was but I will be honest with you and tell you that you just hurt the one man that might truely really care for you..." he pauses and continues as he turns around to exist the room. "...and wants to be with you."

"Tasumi, wait!" I call out to the man but he is gone before I have a chance to ask him about my thought.

"What did I do?" I ask the air. As if answering, my mind whispers in my ear. _Go to him. _I leap out of bed grab my shoes and put them on as I'm trying to run for the front of the building. I burst through the front doors and leap off the couple stairs there are there and land and leap back into a run. I don't know where he will be but I just got to find him! I grit my teeth and then yell out with everyone ounce of breath I have. "Tsusaki!"

I ran from the back of the building where the cherry blossom tree's was and back inside and tried all the rooms the I thought the tall idoit man would be. I couldn't find him. I made my way back ouside and then a thought hit me as I stared at the Greenhouse in the distance. "Tsusaki..." I whisper at first and as I break into a run I yelled out louder. "Tsusaki!" and as stop before I could go through the glass door. I took a deep breath and opened the door which made a slight squeeky sound. I looked around in the first room and then made my way back to the back of the Greenhouse. There he was. He was looking at some flowers, they were all kinds of colors, purple, red and orange, yellow and a few more colors. Before I could say a word he spoke, not even turning around.

"Their called Gladiolus's and in the language of flowers they symbolize Strength of character...I need to be strong..." he paused and turned around to look at me with a slight smile. "...for you."

I wanted to jump into his arms but I held myself back I had to tell him first, before I do anything else. But before that I had to apologize. "I'm so sorry Tsusaki...I yelled at you and told the one person that has been with me since my death, to get out. I don't know what to do to make up for it. I know I hurt you and that hurts me-" before I could finish what I wanted to say he pulled me into a tight hug. My eyes widened and then softened as I leaned into the hug and let myself be engolfed by his warmth and tenderness. He didn't pull back right away, in fact he wasn't the one who pulled back. It seems that he was waiting for me to pull back, he would have stayed like that with me if I wanted to. I needed to tell him what was on my mind and having me so mentally stressed. So I pulled back and my hands slid down to lightly wrap around his wrists.

"I have been thinking about you lately and more so than not you have been popping into my mind randomly and then before I know it I'm distracted by the mental image of you but at the same time I don't want to think about it and I don't know why...I've been wanting to tell you and then I can'g bring myself to do it and before I knew it I had myself all mentally stressed out over something so...stupid but I don't know what it is...every time I see that mental image of you smiling or when you smile at me I get this weird fuzzy moving feeling in the pit of my stomach." I finished with a deep breath.

Tsusaki didn't say anything he just smiled and cupped one of my cheeks with one of his hands. "I know what you are trying to say even if you don't, Hisoka. I've dreamt of being cared for and loved like this and never thought i would come true but with the other's and you by my side I just had a feeling it was only a matter of time. And time for us is endless." he finsihed as he bent down and pressed his lips to mine. They tasted of home-made cake icing and of strawberries and thick white cream. At first I was surprised by the action but when he went to pull away I returned the kiss and smiled into as I did so.

Muraki leans against a tree that is next to the Greenhouse and smirks. "That wasn't just any nightmare Tsusaki, my love." and he disappears. What does the white coat doctor have up his sleeves now?

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><p>Tsusaki's POV...<p>

I was so happy to find out that Hisoka cared for me so much. I didn't know what else to do but let my lips answer for me. At first I think he was surprised and I started to pull away but then stopped before my lips left his and I could feel his smile as we kissed. Tsusaki thought as he sat on a large fluffy, padded cushion beside the table of Gladiolus's and on the other side of them, a couple feet away were red roses. We got comfortable on the fluffy cushion and soon the world went blank.

"Wha.." I started as I looked aroun. The scenery wasn't the same. "Weren't Hisoka and I in the Greenhouse?" I questioned to the air.

"You were, now you're here." it voiced, stopped and started again from right behind me. "...with me." the voice, who I knew who it belonged to, whispered in my ear. I shivered in disgust because of who the voice belonged to. "Muraki." I breathed out vemonously.

"You may not be mine now..." he paused as he caressed my hips and I growled out angerly. "...but soon you will be.  
>" he turned me around and as much as I tried I couldn't move a single limb. "But for now you'll be mine here." I breahted out heavly as he grabbed my chin and leans down closer. Suddnely there is a flash of light shine above me. A voice came through the light.<p>

Tsusaki, wask up. Come on wake up you sleepy head." It was Hisoka's voice!

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><p>Hisoka's POV...<p>

The dummb had fallen asleep and was pinning me to the wall. Not that I did'nt want to spend time with him but...my arm was being crambed between the all and my stomach and was numbing up. I stop trying to get my arm lose because I notice Tsusaki's face twisting up in surprise then anger and he starts to shiver off and on. I start to shake him with my free hand. "Wake up Tsusaki." I stop and try again. "Tsusaki wake up. Come on wake up you sleepy head." When he wakes up he has this..scared look on his face but when I touch his arm the look fades and he bends down to kiss my forehead. I blush a little. He then smiles and says happily. "I'm hungry, lets get something to eat!" and he leaps to his feet after I climb to mine. He asks me what I want to eat with a happy face, he's too happy right now so I'll wait til later to ask him what he was draming about. That face he made, I don't want to ever see it again. I look at him and smile as he mentions cake and donuts. Yeah he may be a silly, annoying and sweet crazed Shigamai but...he wouldn't be Tsusaki if he wasn't. When you love someone that much you take all their qualities, even if they ar crazy about sweets and stubborn to boot.

The End! XD.

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><p><strong>Omg! So I thought that went pretty good, considering I don't write fics with this show that much, but I do like to break away from my regulars and do something out of my...area? lol :). I don't know *shrugs* It's just fun writing this couple and throwing in Muraki! The guy freaks me out but at the same time I just can't imagine him not there, lol :). So I hope you all enjoyed this one shot :). Have a great day and happy writings andor readings to you all :). Toodles! -waves happily!- **

**Stratagirl :). **


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